American English has died aged two hundred and forty years in a flurry of post-modern menu items culminating in an overdose of deep fried cheesecake.
Born in the flames of the finest writing in the English language to appear outside of a religious work, the American tradition had many fine guardians from Twain to Steinbeck, exporting grand new words and even grander ideas to the world. After a long struggle with marketeering, the relentless onslaught of verbisation, the steady loss of vowels, the US finally lost its power of speech. Hollywood visuals failed to fill the gap and after mocking the fall of the American Dream in the Walking Dead with its English lead facing the dumbstruck hordes, American English finally laid its head to its final rest.